So, as it goes, a score and two years ago, on the seventeenth day of September in the year of our lord, 1984, (hereafter known as A.A. "After Awesome") there happened the birth of a child. The Child who was destined to the most awesome individual in the known universe. A being so awesome in his nature, the image of his face is considered sacred in some cultures. His name is Robin, and he is awesome.

Robin's parents decided that he should be brought to a safe and secluded corner of the globe to be reared, for fear that he would become trampled to death at too early an age by beautiful women, or handsome men (not that there's anything wrong with that).

After his formative years in seclusion in the northeastern corner of the Middle of Nowhere (the year 5 A.A.), his rapidly developing awesomeness allowed him to attend a school, Next To Middle Of Nowhere Academy, which in hindsight was ill-equipped to handle a child of his eminence. Having been voted "Most Likely To Succeed" 6 years in a row, and singlehandedly taking the varsity football team to state, the Academy asked Robin to graduate, in order to allow some of the other students to shine in their own light, rather than in the shadow of his awesomeness.

After the year 17 A.A. Robin then decided to leave Nowhere and expose himself to the City of New Orleans, one of the only cities (the others being Miami, Los Angeles, New York, and Pittsburg, Ca.)equipped with adequate Police, Fire, and Medical staff to handle an individual with as much awesome as Robin

His quest for knowledge and thirst for all things awesome brought him to the University of No Opportunity, and in the four years and one semester Robin spent there, he discovered the truly awesome nature of his existence.

In the interest of brevity, and to make a 4 year long story slightly less long, we will focus the rest of the story on the Prophecy.

In his second year of studies at the University, and through a completely uninteresting series of events that would eventually lead to an "A" on the almost all of his courses, Robin stumbled upon an image of his countenance in a place that he never thought he would.

Even thought The Face is rough and poorly visible, it is unquestionably there. A portion of the panel reads "Rou-bawn, Reed-li-eneger, Awe-su-namon". roughly translated, the rest of the inscription reads "He will be a son of awe, as the rising sun is to the waking man"

After some searching, Robin soon found more faces popping up all over history. An engraving from the middle ages shows The Face atop a pike, used as a standard for armies, and to drive fear into the opposing forces.

History has shown that The Nazis even used it briefly as their party symbol, but later favored the broken cross for it's ease of reproduction.

Though great societies throughout history have used The Face, it can also be seen in contemporary society.

The Face was shown in the infamous Super Bowl Halftime show a few years back. The intense outrage that followed afterwards was not because of Janet Jackson's nipple, but because of the lack of exposure The Face had.

There are many historical examples of The Face in textbooks, but they are far too numerous to list here, and they all revolve around the same idea, The Face as an instantly recognizable icon.

History can only tell us where The Face has been, but only time can tell where The Face will be. It is up to you, yes you, to make history. Go to the BUY section (Or the play section, you cheap bastard), and get your faces today. Supplies are limited, so call out 24 hour hotline today, 225-270-5816. You hold the power of The Face in your hands.